LOSING IT

andersenpress 2:15 pm on August 17, 2010 Reply  

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  Bali Rai 4:13 pm on August 17, 2010 Permalink | Reply

  When my good friend, Keith Gray, asked me to write a short story for the ‘Losing It’ collection, I immediately thought of ‘The White Towel, a story that I’d written many years earlier. Having read the brief for ‘Losing It’, I realised that my old story would fit perfectly. A simple tale about the concept of virginity, told in a British Asian context.

  Inspired by an old Punjabi tradition, the story considers two attitudes towards losing ones virginity. The first, and most prevalent, is that of a British Asian girl, Preet, who learns of a dark family secret. The second is that of her white British best friend, Maisie, who cannot understand why ‘losing it’ is such a big deal. It is a harrowing story of love, betrayal and murder, with the concept of family honour hovering throughout.

  I wanted to show how parents and their cultural/religious values and traditions often shape attitudes towards virginity. This is certainly the case in British Asian circles, where the concept of wedding-night virgins is still the norm, especially for young women. Despite both Preet and Maisie being British born, the demands on Preet regarding her sexuality are far greater. However, this is something of which wider British society is usually unaware. In fact, many people fail to accept that such pressures, which can lead to physical abuse and murder, exist at all.

  Yet the reality is startling. Domestic abuse, forced marriage and so-called ‘honour killings’ do exist in certain ethnic communities across the UK. Most of these incidents affect young women and, by far, the biggest reason is attitudes towards sexual liaisons. Despite my story being set in rural India, there are direct parallels to the modern day. For many young British women, losing their virginity isn’t some rite of passage. Instead, it is a minefield of cultural and religious demands, concepts of family honour and misogynistic attitudes about the role of women.

  I want my story to anger readers, to shock them and cause them to consider the issues. I want it to challenge comfortable generalisations about ‘losing it’ within the British context. In today’s culturally diverse society, there are many issues. The sexism and misogyny that young women face from certain religious/cultural backgrounds is one such problem. I hope my story can challenge this problem and, most of all, I hope it makes a damn good read.

  – Bali Rai

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